The Mystery of the Missing Date


I was online chatting with a bunch of my trans friends that other evening. We are a group of gals from literally all over the world, but mainly the US/Canada and the UK – but with gals from Mexico, Japan, Australia, on and on..

What prompted this discussion was the missing date of one of our number. Our friend “J” had gotten all dressed up to meet a cis guy who had literally HOUNDED her for a month – daily – to go out with him. On the fateful night of the date, he was MIA. The surprising thing to me was how NOT surprised any of us were. Not a one. We were comforting, and ego-boosting, and good friends. But we weren’t shocked.

Each and every one of us all over the world with the exception of three gals (2 transitioned and maintained a relationship, one works as an escort/porn star) had well over a 50% no-show rate on dates this summer. It is so common that we are frakkin’ SURPRISED when a guy manages to show up – THAT becomes news. ALL of us make alternate plans, make sure we have money to cover our dinner (even if the guy promised it would be his treat). The thing that surprised me, I’m not the only one who carries a book in her purse to have something to do waiting for cis-dude to show up. Actually, “dude” is a poor choice of words, because it really isn’t better with cis-women

I get it that being stood up isn’t a “trans” thing, or even a “woman” thing. Thing is, I don’t know any other group with such an abysmal rate of no-shows as tranny-chasers or chaser wannabes. When called out and being honest (not making some lame excuse) it’s always “you don’t know how frightening this is” or some such.. or guys making the excuse that it “takes time/courage”. I’m a sensitive gal, I try to understand. My patience and understanding is running thin because it’s so damn …common. Like it’s part of the Tranny Dating Game, and fooking EXPECTED.

My friends and I have begun exchanging names/online handles for guys who stand us up. These guys are on a list – no tranny-lovin’ for joo!!!

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~ by laughriotgirl on October 29, 2009.

2 Responses to “The Mystery of the Missing Date”

  1. Such a bummer Ms. B. Why is it that all the good people are hundreds of miles away?

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