It Started as an Innocent Date

•November 24, 2009 • 12 Comments

The topic of violence has come up lately far to often. Every time it comes up, I think about this. Given my recent conversation with Mr. Gallon, I think that this is the proper time to disclose the tale of my first instance of intimate partner violence. This took me hours to write and process and in the end I feel like shit. Partly because I lived it and it hurts to remember. Partly because I didn’t pressure the police to investigate the case, and just let it go. For all I know this guy – whose real name I’ll never know – could be doing to other women what he did to me. particularly trans women.

I mention that he was a member to a few trans porn sites because Mr. Gallon is under the impression that trans women are killed, beat, raped by men who don’t know about trans women (and wouldn’t be members of a trans porn site) . The thought is that it is pimps and other trans women and guys who don’t know that the gals are trans who do the killing. The last, I take as particularly false and repeating this only lends validity to the often successful trans panic defense. Below the fold is potentially triggering violence

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TDoR, Porn, and a Pissed T-Girl

•November 21, 2009 • 25 Comments

Last Year Monica Robers asked a very good question “Does The Transgender Porn World Celebrate The TDOR?” At the time I poked around and didn’t see any evidence that they did. While I know that some individuals within the industry do observe this day, I didn’t know if the industry itself did – officially.  This year I have better access to and knowledge of the trans porn industry, so I kept an eye out.

I want to acknowledge that the one site that I post to regularly, DID have a post on their blog, and a few topics on the forums (and I didn’t even have to start them). Please note this IS A PORN SITE – NOT WORK SAFE! TRIGGERING LANGUAGE AND IMAGES. I’ll reprint the text below in case you don’t want to follow the link:

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Another Day Another Murder

•November 17, 2009 • 4 Comments

I know earlier I said I wouldn’t post a new article because I like the way the comments on my gender topic are going. Well, some things are just more important and immediate. Story here :

On November 14 the body of a gay 19 year old was found a few miles away from the town in which he was residing in called Caguas.  He was a very well known person in the gay community of Puerto Rico, and very loved.  He was found on the site of an isolated road in the city of Cayey, he was partially burned, decapitated, and dismembered, both arms, both legs, and the torso.

Yes… He was found partially burned, his arms and legs and his fucking HEAD were removed.

The suspect has been caught and has confessed”

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What is Gender…?

•November 11, 2009 • 30 Comments

I want to discuss gender. I want to discuss this from a place of questioning and experience, rather than a place of oppression and theory. While both theory and oppression are important to the discussion of gender, too often gendered experiences are dismissed (particularly when the experience comes from a trans person). Before I can properly discuss “gender” I have to define what I mean as “gender”, because there really isn’t a consensus. Language fails us here.

One thing I’d like to talk about are some of my earliest understandings. It is important to understand how children learn about the world. Children learn through instruction, but mostly it is through observation. Most children will pay close attention to adults who closely match their sex. Boy children will learn how to be a man by watching the men in their life – thus you have generational abusers who may have been instructed not to hit women, but observed men hitting women.

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Totally Un-Trans Gamer Stuff

•November 9, 2009 • 2 Comments

I’ve gone on lately about trans-related things. While I think that’s important, I have so much more happening in my life. I’m quite sure that many of the lurkers here will be surprised that I don’t actually spend my weekends alternately being hyper-sexed and being angry over the state of trans women.

This past weekend guess what i did with my free time? I played Diablo 2 – yup it’s old, it’s simple, it’s a classic. It boils a game into the two thing I like to do:

  • Kill monsters
  • Buy stuff

I got a tip from a friend to get Torchlight today, so I might. If I do I’ll post a review. Or I may just get obsessed with a new game and disappear. (likely)

I have been playing Champions Online. It’s alright – but didn’t hold my interest. Partly because there was some issue with the game and my PC. There was serious lag that, while not unplayable, it was not enjoyable. Nothing like turning, lagging, over compensating, and finding yourself facing the opposite direction. Also, the content got pretty old, as the game is easy to get through. Replayability, quite minimal – exact same quests, loot choices, areas.

On the upside, it had SA-WEET character customization (Ala CoH/V). The ability to create your own “Nemesis”. Power customization that lets you pick any power in any combination. The good definitely outweighed the bad – as long as I was able to play. But once the luster wore off, and the game became more of a chore (due to lag after an update), I just haven’t been compelled to revisit it.

A small visit into my nerdly life

House Passed Health Care Reform

•November 8, 2009 • 4 Comments

The US House passed the Heath Care Reform Bill Saturday. I don’t want to discuss the merits of the bill, because that debate has been done to death on both sides. The simple fact is, it has passed. However, it passed with two exceptions. The Stupak-Pitts Amendment was added to the final version of the bill . You will, I guarantee, hear about how it limits the coverage for abortion – going so far as to provides stipulations on how private insurance can cover abortions.

What you won’t hear about is the other restriction, the new “Universal Health Care” bill will not cover transition-related costs. The language of the exception is essentially the same language used by Anthem (my insurance provider through work) to deny claims. It will not cover procedures related to transition, or the result of transition. How does this play out?

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Trans Day of Rememberance

•November 3, 2009 • 2 Comments

November 20 marks this years Transgender Day of Remembrance. This year we will be memorializing 95 murdered trans men, women, gender non-conforming people, and those who love us. As you look at the list of murdered women, you should notice a few things. The majority of theses murders are trans women. the vast majority of these murders are unsolved, some of the murders have implications of police involvement.  Many of the women were sex-workers, were women of color, were killed by men who they were intimate with.

cynthia-nicoleEvery year there are a couple of women who strike close to me, they remind me of myself, or friends of mine. This year, four women illustrate something for me:

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